If we accept that we are all, in fact, in a rat race, then amongst the other rats who have degrees and health insurance, I am the rat with scabs on its back telling everyone to check out my colourful new wheel that I picked up off Gumtree. What I'm trying to explain to you is that I feel like I'm falling behind my peer group. You know that feeling you get when you turn around and people you have been hanging out with have got their Master’s, seemingly out of nowhere? One minute everyone is hanging out, and then you see your friend John and he has his Master’s. I mean, last time I saw John he was screaming 'butt chug, butt chug' and now he's an accountant with a son named Xavier (the mum didn't like the name 'Butt Chug Butt Chug Jnr').
Even more annoying than someone’s surprise success is when that somebody was someone from high school and was never meant to become successful. In the narrative of my life, Brent Dawes was not supposed to become a successful entrepreneur and find true love. He was supposed to become an alcoholic and wish that he had never thrown a basketball at my head four times. Once on the rebound, but still.
Becky Lucas is a Brisbane comic and Triple J RAW Comedy grand finalist who performs locally and interstate. Follow her @Becky_Lucas89.