I had high hopes.
After seeing the video for ‘S.O.S.’, the latest Bluejuice single, I was sure they'd done it. After years of torment, tears and pointlessly alliterated sentences, finally there was a way to rid the world of douchebags.
Sure, the clip also shows Bluejuice accidentally shooting down a plane and beating on a granny, but if Arnold Schwarzenegger has taught us anything it's that sometimes there's collateral damage. It was only when I spoke to Stav (yes, Stav, not Stavros) that my hope was suddenly and irretrievably assuaged.
“It's just a film clip,” he said. “It's not real,” he said. Well thanks for getting my damn hopes up for nothing. I hope you're happy, Stavros.
"Admittedly a lot of people have asked us for guns like those. I had to break it to them that a lot of that isn't real. As long as you have the budget for sweet special effects you can do anything you want."
The natural question that follows is: if Stav could rid the world of one type of douche, which one would it be? It's a good 20 seconds before he gives an answer. Gosh, there are just so many...
"Pairs of volunteers that try to get your attention in annoying ways as you're walking by them. And they're often for good causes and I'm all for that, but it's the way they come up to you and just try to shake your hand, or are like 'Hey, are you having a great day?!' or these other relentless sales techniques they've been trained in. I don't actually have a problem with the things that they want to talk about, just have a bit of respect for personal space at least!"
Put down the pitchforks, people. It's not that Stav has a problem with charity. I mean, have you seen his stubble? No, it's just that sometimes it's too early to talk about saving the world. Sometimes that damn UNHCR guy should just buy you a drink first. Maybe that's why Bluejuice decided to record 'S.O.S.' in London, so Stav could have a reprieve.
"We've done a few shows over there as part of showcases, but I would suggest [we're] not very well-known [over there]. Jake [Stone] flew over and worked with a few guys that helped produce 'Act Yr Age' and they brought in a whole bunch of awesome session musicians. We're buzzed about the results and it sounds great.
“Interestingly, there's this German company that's interested in working with us, because there's this Austrian MC that's released a hip hop tune called 'Get it Right' that samples 'Vitriol'. As a result this German label's become interested in the band and there's talk of an international version of the record."
I ask Stav if Bluejuice roll around in a large pile of money every time someone samples 'Vitriol', but apparently this is the first time it's happened. Is this really a thing? I feel like Stav needs to lodge a copyright claim or two.
"We haven't seen any results from it just yet. It's only ever been sampled once, to my knowledge. This Austrian MC just had a friend in Australia who played him 'Vitriol' when it came out, and years later he decided to make a bratty hip hop tune."
You may remember an interview that ran in Scene a year or so back, in which Jake from Bluejuice revealed his fear of getting old. At 32, he figured he was 'over the hump'.
"I figure everyone has that a little bit, but I don't obsess over it. I feel like I hear it from [Jake] weekly, if not daily... so not quite at the same level. It's fine, it's what happens. It's life. I think change is more to do with circumstance.
"Whatever phase in life you find yourself in, that probably drives change more than age itself. You find young people that are wise beyond their years, you find much older people that act like teenagers forever. I think it's a headspace thing."
One of the qualities that makes Bluejuice so appealing, apart from their tunes and videos, is the fact they’ll never say die.
"I guess bands are often like families. The bonds are very strong, but that doesn't mean they aren't strained at times. When you work intimately with people for such a long period of time you kind of know their rhythm and end their sentences.
"You know them very well. I think few people in life [with] work experience that level of closeness where you reveal fairly true parts of yourself to one another... as opposed to working in an office where the things that you share are fairly superficial. Being in a band, you share your deepest fears often."
So, when are Bluejuice most likely to hug it out?
"At the end of a really good show. You feel bound in victory, you have that united feeling of conquest. Each and every show is its own unique battle, really. This desperate battle to win people's attention relentlessly.
"Not that it's like that for all bands, but for Bluejuice that's what it is. That's really hard to do, even for just 45 minutes or an hour, to make everyone forget their own lives and to be completely immersed in how you're trying to entertain them."
Bluejuice play The Hi-Fi Saturday November 9. ‘S.O.S.’ is out now.