With the return of Gangarang, there’s never been a better time to form your own gang. Here’s how, in four easy steps.

1. Become a ‘cult of personality’. Put up posters, make a YouTube video, hold public meetings and hand out tacky bracelets until millions of people start following you and believing the things you say for no good reason. Then, to seal the deal, take your pants off and run naked through the streets. Pretty soon you'll be more infamous than some Ugandan dude.

2. Watch ‘The Sopranos’. This show contains everything you need to know about gangs. Plus, it'll give you a few pointers on how to hit on your shrink. Make sure to memorise key phrases for later use, such as “Ohh!” and "This lasagne's cold”.

3. Learn to whistle a 1920s showtune. Your new gang is hanging out in a dark alley, when suddenly your rivals, the Toritos, approach. Everyone is uneasy, on edge. There’s an unmistakable sound of a flick-knife being drawn. Thank God you learned how to whistle the theme from ‘Chicago’.

4. Buy some cigarettes, but don’t smoke them. Make sure all your gang members are carrying at least one pack of cigarettes. Let's be honest. People with cigarettes look cooler, in an “I bet he knows what 'racketeering' means" kind of way. Don't smoke them though, that stuff's bad for your health! Instead, offer them to rival gangs, in the hope that your enemies will die too young to see their grandkids grow up.

Here are a few Scene gang suggestions.









‘Gangarang IV: The Rebirth’ is on at Rumpus Room, West End, Sunday May 6 from 3pm. Adding spice to the mixture, Scene will be filming on the day.